私は日本語をはなしません。げんきを勉強します。四歳じゃないです。でも、全然勉強します 。。。

tambien, me gustaria poder hablar en espanol, pero yo entiendo que no hablar o escritir con otras personas en la idioma. Ironicamente, me ayudaria mas porque hay muchas personas que pueden hablar en espanol en mi pais, y hay relativamente pocos aqui que hablar en japones.

Things I'd like to do? Learn other languages. I think it's FOMO, though, which means if I did manage to get proficient in some manner (especially if it was quick?) I'd probably find that my world doesn't change. I'd just be me, but in a different language. It's difficult because I could just use a translator and call it a day. And what of in five years? Will AI make multilingualism even less of an employable quality? What are the less tangible benefits to consider?

I also think it would be cool to learn an instrument, maybe I'll pick up guitar. I struggle to make my fingers do what they're supposed to, but I guess I type pretty quickly in the latin scripts...

I want to be able to support a community as well. Small or local or digital, I couldn't say which.

A real humdinger? When I hear of people being lonely or whatnot, I feel like I want to solve that problem. And my knee-jerk reaction is "hey, I'm a human being, I could solve that problem!" Then I realize that no, I can't be social like that, certainly not to all people. And I realize that some people, I honestly would be uncomfortable being their friend, and that this is probably true of others to me, and then I just get all sad about the concept of relationships. But loneliness sucks.

I should probably structure these rants like bullet points instead of flowing paragraphs. They're pretty disconnected.

Another interest of mine I haven't mentioned is the whole FIRE movement. It's changed over the years and stuff, but for a neurotic sort of unsettled person like me, it sounds great. In terms of getting financially independent and retiring early, I guess for me that just means make relatively as much as possible and save as much as possible. In the former, I don't really take on more work. But on the latter, I'm a fan. I'm pinching pennies in dumb ways, while recognizing my shortcomings of spending too much elsewhere. But I can do some car maintenance, grow some food, cut back on entertainment spending. Easy stuff that'll hopefully add up. On a bigger scale, I think it's legitimately a reason for me to avoid having offspring. Children are expensive from a financial perspective, and how much time you have in the day. Of course, if I avoid "living" to the extreme and I die before I get there, some folks might look sadly on that. But I'd probably be content anyway. That anhedonia thing seems pretty compatible with my slightly misaligned FIRE motivations. At this rate, I'll likely retire at 64 instead of 65 and call that early. :)

I also want to know what others might use as guiding their lives. Like, I can't just walk up to old people and say "hey, what are the main principles you've learned in your life?" or at least, I won't. But that would be so interesting. When they talk about the progression of understanding (unknowing -> knowing -> understanding -> wisdom), are you allowed to cheat and just ask for the wisdom? Or do you only get good at discernment if you have been doing it yourself? I think Tokyo Ghoul might've touched on that ever so briefly.

anyway, do send good vibes and language learning motivation. maybe next I'll talk about death. thinking about doing a media page like ya do. if I did posts en espanol or ... 日本語は... I wonder how I'd sort them